没有人喜欢谎言。我们既不希望被他人欺骗,同时也尽可能不去欺骗他人。
但是在现代社会,我们又时不时被谎言包围。研究显示,人们普遍每天接收的谎言大约有10到200次。
Pamela Meyer是Simpatico Networks的一位CEO,但她同时也是一位专门研究谎言的专家,在讯问技巧、谎言检测、肢体语言解读与微表情解读方面都有着丰富的经验。她曾出版书籍“Liespotting”(《识破谎言》)。
那么她是如何看待谎言的呢?对于如何识别谎言,她又有哪些实用的技巧呢?
今天我们就带领大家回顾Pamela Meyer的一场经典TED演讲,相信会给你带来一些启发。
01
谎言也具有“力量”
你是否思考过,专业人士研究谎言的目的是什么?
So before I get started, what I'm going to do is I'm going to clarify my goal for you, which is not to teach a game of Gotcha.
在我的演讲开始之前,我首先要做的是向各位澄清:我不是要教你们玩测谎游戏。
clarify v.澄清,阐明
Liespotters are armed with scientific knowledge of how to spot deception. They use it to get to the truth, and they do what mature leaders do every day; they have difficult conversations with difficult people, sometimes during very difficult times. And they start up that path by accepting a core proposition, and that proposition is the following: Lying is a cooperative act.
测谎者以识破谎言的科学知识来武装自己。他们利用这些知识来找出真相。他们像成熟的领导人那样工作,与难以打交道的人进行艰难的对话,有时候甚至是在世态不济的时候。他们踏上了这条道路,怀着一项核心要点,那就是:说谎是一项协作行为。
be armed with 以……武装,装备
deception n. 欺骗
mature adj. 成熟的
core adj. 核心的/n. 核心
proposition n. 观点;提议,建议;命题
cooperative adj.合作的,协作的
A lie has no power whatsoever by its mere utterance. Its power emerges when someone else agrees to believe the lie.
谎言本身没有丝毫力量,而当人将谎言信以为真对的时候,谎言的力量就产生了。
utterance n. 说话,话语
emerge v. 出现
02
关于谎言的两条事实
Pamela Meyer关于谎言的第一条事实是: 说谎是一项协作行动。
并不是所有的谎话都是有害的。有时,为了保住社会尊严,我们愿意说谎。
“Everyone is willing to give you something. They're ready to give you something for whatever it is they're hungry for.”
“每个人都愿意给你某样东西。只要是为了得到他们渴望的东西,他们就心甘情愿地拿东西来交换。”
If you don't want to be deceived, you have to know, what is it that you're hungry for?
如果你不想被欺骗,你就要知道,你想要的究竟是什么。
Lying is an attempt to connect our wishes and our fantasies about who we wish, we were, how we wish we could be, with what we're really like.
欺骗是人们将我们理想中的自己与理想中的生活、种种心愿和幻想,与现实中的自己联系起来所做的一种尝试。
attempt v./n. 尝试
connect sth. with sth. 将某事与某事联系起来
Pamela认为人们说谎,有时候则是因为我们不理解生活中现实与理想的差距。
Lying is complex. It's woven into the fabric of our daily and our business lives. We're deeply ambivalent about the truth. We parse it out on an as-needed basis, sometimes for very good reasons, other times just because we don't understand the gaps in our lives. That's truth number two about lying. We're against lying, but we're covertly for it.
说谎是复杂的。它与我们的日常生活工作交织在一起。我们对真相总是拿捏不准,我们在需要的时候才来分析它,有时候是情理之中的,而有时候则是因为我们不理解生活中现实与理想的差距。这是关于说谎的第二条真相。我们反对说谎,但背地里赞同说谎。
ambivalent adj. 矛盾的,模棱两可的
parse v. 作(语法/句法)分析
be ... for 赞同,赞成,支持
covertly adv.秘密地,偷偷摸摸地
03
如何鉴别一个谎言
接下来就是Pamela在演讲中的干货部分了——作为普通人,我们该如何鉴别谎言?
克林顿总统与莱温斯基的丑闻自述已经成了“教科书”般喜闻乐见的谎言分析案例。在经典美剧《别对我说谎》中,也使用了这个经典片段作为分析对象。下面一起来看这段自述:
I want you to listen to me. I'm going to say this again: I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky. I never told anyone to lie, not a single time, never. And these allegations are false. And I need to go back to work for the American people. Thank you.
我想要你们听我说,我再次重申:我没有和那个女人,莱温斯基小姐,发生过性关系。我从未授意任何人说谎,从来没有。这些指控都是莫须有的。现在我要回去为美国人民工作了。谢谢你们。
作为专业人士,Pamela Meyer从这段自述中发现了哪些破绽呢?
首先,克林顿的这段话中有一个正式的否定did not。研究表明,人们在过度强调否认时,喜欢使用较为正式的语言。
克林顿还使用that woman(那个女人)这种遥指性的表述。说谎者常常会在不经意间疏远话中的主语,以达到撇开关系的目的。
如果被询问者完整地将问题重复一遍,或者他在叙述中暴露了过多细节,那他的话的可信度也会降低。
除了话语外,一个人的肢体语言同样也会在不经意间暴露出他内心真实的想法。
心理学家、精神分析学派创始人佛洛伊德曾说:No mortal can keep a secret. If his lips are silent, he chatters with his fingertips.(没有人能保守住秘密。他的嘴闭上了,但是指尖却在出卖他。)
弗洛伊德这句话说得没错,比如下面这张图照片:
We think liars fidget all the time. Well guess what, they're known to freeze their upper bodies when they’re lying. We think liars won’t look you in the eyes. Well guess what, they look you in the eyes a little too much just to compensate for that myth. We think warmth and smiles convey honesty, sincerity. But a trained liespotter can spot a fake smile a mile away.
我们以为骗子总是坐立不安,但事实是,他们在说谎时上半身一动也不动。我们以为骗子不敢直视你的双眼,而事实是,他们知道人们会这么想,反而会过久地盯着你的眼睛看。我们以为寒暄和微笑传达的是真诚,但是一个训练有素的识谎者能够大老远就分辨出一个假笑。
fidget v. 坐立不安,烦乱
freeze v. 使定格,定住;冻结,结冰
look sb. in the eyes 直视某人
convey v. 传达,传递
sincerity n. 真诚
trained adj. 受过训练的
你能分辨出下面哪个是假笑吗?
答案是左边是假笑,右边是真笑。真正的微笑是发自内心的,此时眼睛会自然地随笑容弯曲,这也难怪会有“眼睛弯弯笑起来像月亮”这样的说法。真笑时眼角也会出现鱼尾纹。这些动作都是我们的面部自然带动的反应,假笑并不具备这些特征。
另外,检测一个人是否在说谎,也可以让他对所发生的事情进行倒叙。因为在编造谎言时,由于事情不具有真实性,说谎者往往很难真正记住自己此前所编造的事件与细节。
Pamela Meyer虽然以研究人员的视角提供了一些检测谎言的方法,但她认为,这些指标并非绝对的。
Science has surfaced many, many more indicators. We know, for example, we know liars will shift their blink rate, point their feet towards an exit. They will take barrier objects and put them between themselves and the person that is interviewing them. They'll alter their vocal tone, often making their vocal tone much lower.
科学发现了更多(说谎)的指标,比如我们知道骗子会改变他们眨眼的频率,他们的脚会对着出口,他们会拿某样东西挡在询问者和自己之间,他们会改变说话的音调,通常是把音调压低许多。
alter v.变换,转换(to make different without changing into something else)
These behaviors are just behaviors. They're not proof of deception. They're red flags. We're human beings. We make deceptive flailing gestures all over the place all day long. They don't mean anything in and of themselves.
这些行为都只是行为而已,并不是谎言的证明。它们起到的是警示的作用,我们都是人,我们整天都在做掩盖谎言的动作,这些动作本身没有任何意义,也不反映任何意义。
But when you see clusters of them, that"s your signal. Look, listen, probe, ask some hard questions, get out of that very comfortable mode of knowing, walk into curiosity mode, ask more questions, have a little dignity, treat the person you're talking to with rapport.
但是如果看到一连串这样的行为,你就要警觉了。去观察、倾听、探查,问一些难以回答的问题,从心安理得的了解状态中走出来,进入好奇模式。多问问题,提高自尊,并尊重对方。
cluster n. 簇,群
probe v. 探查
dignity n. 尊严
关于“欺骗”的词汇总结
deceive v. to cause to accept as true or valid what is false or invalid 欺骗
deception n. 欺骗
deceptive adj. 欺骗性的,迷惑性的
lie v. to say or write something that is not true in order to deceive someone 说谎,撒谎
liar n.说谎的人,骗子
con v. to make sb. believe something false, usually so that that person will give you their money or possessions 哄骗,欺骗(通常指钱财)
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